Hypoallergenic (The Christmas Tree Song)

by Mark Haugen

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lyrics

Sugar cookies, apple cider,
Cinnamon, and snow
Cranberries and pumpkin pie
And salt on all the roads
Christmas decorations as perfect as can be
There’s Christmas cheer as far as I can see

There’s stockings on the mantle
A wreath out on the door
A dog dressed like a reindeer
Skids across the kitchen floor
And out there in the living room
A wondrous sight to see
It’s my perfect little artificial tree

Artificial Christmas tree, I love you
Your low maintenance aesthetic is so hypoallergenic
Artificial Christmas tree, I love you
You’re less likely to burn because your branches are synthetic
But our love is real

There’s ornaments and Christmas lights
And popcorn on a string
Way up in the rafters
There’s an angel in the tree
There’s an elf right on the shelf
Knows if you’re good or bad
So apologize for all the things you’ve said

My Christmas tree is perfect
The perfect one for me
While yours is on the curb
Mine is always there for me
I might put it in the basement
But it’s always in my heart
My perfect little Christmas counterpart

Artificial Christmas tree, I love you
Your low maintenance aesthetic is so hypoallergenic
Artificial Christmas tree, I love you
You’re less likely to burn because your branches are synthetic
But our love is real

You’re artificial
You’re artificial
You’re artificial but our love is real

Artificial Christmas tree, I love you
Your low maintenance aesthetic is so hypoallergenic
Artificial Christmas tree, I love you
You’re less likely to burn because your branches are synthetic
But our love is real

credits

released December 20, 2019
Mark Haugen - Rhodes, vox, telling the computer to play the drums
Dizzy Bridges - bass
Sam Dorrance - whistling

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Mark Haugen Madison, Wisconsin

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